Swearing, cursing, cussing whatever you would like to call it but we all do it at one time or another. Some more than most. My own view is there is normally a good reason for swearing. Mainly around work or anything to do with Microsoft but it’s good to let off some steam by either swearing at the laptop or in the special cursing room (chatroom). If I am feeling really frustrated I will go to the toilet and say a lot of f**ks to myself like Hugh Grant does at the beginning of Four Weddings and a Funeral. Now, for some reason I don’t really feel the need to swear on my blog, the odd bloody or bugger but they are tame swear words. Swearing while talking, if in the right context just happens without even realising it though I’m always careful around other peoples kids.
I remember a while ago my family were around my house and my niece wanted to play her High School Musical CD and I said no (ain’t I mean!) and left my Scissor Sisters album playing instead. It wasn’t until I got my iPod touch a few months later that I realised how much swearing is on there – heh. Oh well, no one complained on the night. Which brings me nicely to swearing on songs – some albums have lots of cussing (Amy Winehouse for example) while others don’t. It’s only at parties with young kids that I have to remember which ones do contain swearing otherwise it is part of the song and wouldn’t have the impact that it does. Here is an uncensored version of some of those songs on my iPod so cover your eyes if you don’t want to see any swearing.
Amy Winehouse – Mr & Mrs Jones: “What kind of fuckery is this?”
Scissor Sisters – I Can’t Decide: “Fuck and kiss you both at the same time”
Conor Oberst – Spoiled: “Everytime I fucked her mind”
The Prodigy has a lot of swearing but that’s on the live tracks that I have on my iPod. I’m sure there are plenty others but you get my point.
Blimey, I hate packing for holidays. It oddly adds stress to the whole holiday experience and when going on holiday in the UK it is even worse. This is due to the unpredictability of the weather. One day it could be sunny and warm, while the next day it is pissing down. This is especially hard when going hiking in the Lake District – walking clothes to take as well as normal clothing. Anyway, I worked late tonight but did managed to get the last few items ironed. I will pack my suitcase tomorrow night while having a few pre-holiday drinks, which could be lethal and I could end up with all sorts of inappropriate clothing for the Lakes. Still I’m really looking forward to having some time off work (as much as I like it) but it will be nice not having to get up early, put work clothes on and travel in to London.
My only problem I have is what to do with this blog while I’m away. Previous holidays I have either got friends to write for me or I have been at home so I can keep writing. This time I don’t think it is fair to ask friends to write again for me – they can write for me anytime they like and as I’ll be in a small country village I doubt there will be free wifi in the local pub so there won’t be writing much next week. Finding free wifi in London is hard enough. In the next town along from this village I know there is a cafe bar that has free wifi and makes cocktails so I’m planning to go there on 5th May as the Conor Oberst album is released as I will need to do some downloading. I will write a catch-up post then maybe with some photos of the mountains. If there is free wifi in the village I’m staying in then my plan for my blog will be a picture a day of my t-shirts, including my new one with “I Love Geeks” on it. Might even treat everyone with a photo of my new oversized 70s style sunglasses – shame I didn’t get the heart shaped ones as that could have been a good photo!
My colleague in America is back full time after having 9 weeks maternity leave (from my point of view the length of maternity leave in the States is great) so finally now I can see the light at the end of tunnel. And it is bright! Now I’m catching up with all the work that I’ve should have done while covering. Work that wasn’t really urgent unlike my colleagues work, but is important. Once I’ve done these important jobs I can get back on track with practicing my graphic skills and catching up with reading the reports that my company produces. I’m so looking forward to having my comfort zone back at work and getting back to all the fun stuff on a more full time basis.
Hopefully with all the stress alleviated at work I can concentrate on other things that need sorting as well. For one my HTML self learning (I feel like a broken record by saying with this again), the same goes for running and ice-skating, getting help for my phobias, making lunches for work (this could save me a lot of money), booking my own trip to USA, making new cocktails instead of sticking to Manhattans, music is in here somewhere as well and basically doing things that I enjoy. The other thing I need to start working on again is my confidence. I need to build it up again as I feel it has taken a huge knock lately. I need to start saying what I would like to do and expressing my thoughts/ideas more often. Right, that is enough life coaching for one day – I’ve got some music to listen to.
Swine flu has now arrived in the UK, well Scotland to be precise and I’m sure the press will have a field day tomorrow whipping everyone up in to a panic over it. Now, I’m a hypochondriac and can quite easily worry myself about this but I feel there is a real panic spreading throughout the world (press) over this flu. Don’t get me wrong I think it is a big concern especially in Mexico and it is sad that people have died but I can imagine the sale of face masks going up and doctors surgeries over run with people having flu-like symptoms tomorrow. I’d first noticed a panic on Twitter at the weekend as the top searches where Swine Flu and #swineflu. I remember the bird flu panic of a few years ago and then it just stop. I think it didn’t stop but the press just stopped reporting it because the story got old and the illness didn’t spread anymore.
The press keep mentioning the 1918 flu pandemic as a scare factor. I’ve heard today that swine flu would never be that same as that pandemic because we now have better treatment in treating the swine flu. In a way we are lucky that it is a flu illness and not some sort of plague. I’m just scared of a plague-like illness after reading The Stand by Stephen King. OK, it know it is a fictional read and I would recommend anyone to read it but it does give a scary view on how easy it is to spread a disease throughout the world. On that cheery note I’m heading off to bed – hopefully no nightmares of face masks and swine. Now that sounds like a totally different dream in an odd erotic way!
I wrote about the London Marathon last year so I don’t really feel I can repeat myself but this time the weather was a lot better. Maybe for spectators but maybe not for the runners. It was a warm day today with a bit of a breeze whereas last year was very wet. I don’t run very far but when I do I get so hot quickly that I would have just collapsed in the heat. Saying that I doubt that I would ever be able to run 26.2 miles but who knows what the future holds (blimey that sounded all a bit optimistic – very unlike me). This year there was the usual costumes running about London, like Sponge Bob Square Pants, a donkey, Santa Claus, elephants, etc. Well done to all those who ran – it’s a great achievement in my eyes. It was nice to see that someone who lives down my street ran the marathon as I spotted him walking up the street with his medal and wearing one of the sponsor t-shirts.
It has also been a crafty weekend for me – which I have found to be very therapeutic. The first thing I did was some sewing, something I haven’t done in years. I had an idea to revamp a boring blue cardigan that I had, so me and one of my best friends (who I met at college during my display design years) went to a local craft shop and I managed to spend £15 on card, buttons, sticky pads and other crafty items. Yesterday I took all the blue buttons off the cardigan and sewed new buttons on that where all different buttons with different coloured threads. I was quite pleased with the finished result and I’m currently wearing the cardigan as I write this, even though I’m now thinking about adding more to it like ribbons or bows. The other piece I’m working on is creating a birthday card for my sister-in-law. I have been cutting up card and sticky bits together. I’ve nearly finished it but I need to use the guillotine at work to cut the actual card to a perfect size then I can glue the decorations on. I’m hoping that I can keep this creative streak going for a while as it has been fun.
Work in progress
In that part of my brain that goes in to overdrive and doesn’t stop thinking or analysing life, which is stuck on the ‘on’ position at the moment, I’m now feeling like I’ve missed out on things that I could have done with my life. There are many things that I wish I could have done, would like to do and many of them I can still do (well, maybe not all of them, my husband might have something to say about those) but I still feel my confidence stops me from doing anything about it. I’m sure I have written about this before but it still pains me that I have let life just slide me by. Then again I know I have done a lot of things with my life that many others haven’t and I should be grateful for that. Some people have a lot less than me and are far happy about life than me.
I feel my lack of confidence stops me in a lot of things even when it comes to talking about myself. If someone asks me “what you been up to lately?”, I can never think of anything exciting to say even if I’ve been to a concert recently. It’s not because I have forgotten but I think no one would be interested in what I have been up to. One of my many reason for writing this blog is to let people know what I have been up to but then I still wonder if I am writing boring crap that no-one wants to hear about. One of the other reasons is to express how I’m feeling especially when I’m feeling low. One of my friends said that even though this is a good thing but I’m not getting anyone to help with these feelings. Talking about my issues/feelings is not a strong point of mine. I’m scared to voice these to a real person. I suppose the fear is that in saying what I feel means they are real and then I would have to do something about them instead of keeping them in my mind safe. One thing I have decided on though is to see a hypnotherapist about my phobia of doctors – I can’t spend the rest of my life scared of blood pressure machines.
I’m not sure if I written about the 80s before but if I haven’t then that’s because I have blocked out those memories. While chatting with colleagues about line dancing and big Texas hair the archive storage in my brain suddenly came to life and reminded me of some seriously dodgy perms. The eighties has to be one of the worse decades for bad fashion and maybe some music. Living through it once was bad enough (I was young and naive) but when I see fluorescent leg warmers and women wearing men’s oversize suit jackets I just want to cringe. Oh why, have the fashion designers decided to reinvent the eighties.
This is my recollection of eighties fashion, if I have missed anything significant then please let me know (preferably with a picture if you are old enough). Let’s start with the whole power suit era – shoulder pads, high-wasted pleated and tapered trousers, pearls with twin sets, Filofaxes, Poison perfume. Luckily as I was a teenager during the eighties I don’t really remember wearing this whole look except most jackets did have shoulder pads. I was more into the stone washed jeans with matching jean jacket, leg warmers, bat wing tops in sharp graphics normally in shades of pale pink and grey. Red leather jackets (yes I did owe such an item), lace fingerless gloves, ear-muffs, ra-ra skirts, lilac tracksuits (I never owed a shell suit). The hair was the worst thing of the eighties – perms, lots of hairspray and highlights. Obviously hairdressers spent those ten years perfecting these techniques because I don’t remember ever having a decent hair style in the eighties. I have many bad photos of myself with half grown out perms (none of which will make it on here). Bad brightly coloured eye shadow was all the rage as well. I’m so surprised anyone got a date in those days but then again the men weren’t dressed any better. Miami Vice and mullet hair cuts come to mind. Nice. Happy Friday everyone!
On my path of learning I’m still considering going to Birkbeck University to start on the long path to gaining a degree. I’m going to start with a Certificate of Higher Education first as this would be good preparation for getting back in to studying and finding my feet back in a classroom environment. I had a good chat with one of my friends this evening about it and she pointed out that whatever I do it can’t be a bad thing. Any new learning is a good thing. But I still can’t decide between History or Web Technologies. I’ve always enjoyed history and have talked a many drunken times about wishing to do a history degree. When I look at the list of areas that is studied during the history degree I do get quite excited about the prospect of learning about them.
I also get quite excited about the learning about web technologies/information technology as well. Actually not all of it as in the final year of the degree it starts dealing with Maths. Maths was never a strong point for me at school so I don’t feel I would have the confidence to do well at it. I also wonder if I would enjoy it as much as history. My friend said that I might be good at Maths but the British have a very good way of putting ourselves down and saying we are rubbish at anything that we haven’t done in a while. Or we remember being told we wasn’t very good at school at something and that stays with us forever. So, I’m back to my Mantra “Trust in yourself” and see if I can make a positive decision by June so I can start my classes in September.
I’ve had a bit of a lucky streak lately with money (I really should buy a lottery ticket while I’m in the ‘luck’) and have a medium size amount to spend on myself without feeling guilty. Lucky that I used the joint savings to pay for the MacBook Pro a few months ago or I’ll be using this money to buy half of it. Now, all I’ve got to do is decide what to spend it on. Shouldn’t really be a problem but it feels like I should get something special or do something exciting with it. A bit like getting birthday money and thinking I must get something with it instead of putting it in my purse. The next thing you know the money is all gone and you can’t remember what you bought with it. My iPod touch is one of best birthday/Christmas money items I have ever purchased and I’ve got full value out of it.
I had one idea of getting a SLR digital camera. They are around £300 but could be a good investment for years to come. Then again would I used it often? They are big and bulky. My other idea was to get a new purse – my current one I got from my thirtieth birthday money so it has done well but it is from Burberry so it should last. There are a few graphic design books I would like to get and as most of them are around £25 each I could get a few of those. Then there is my holiday I’ve been thinking about – I could buy the tickets to see Conor Oberst just in case I do decide to go to Minnesota at the end of June. If I don’t go then I’m sure I know someone who would want my tickets instead. So I could use the money for part of the trip. I’m sure I will think of something else as well so I will keep everyone posted on future spending.
From the ages of 7-10 I used to be in the Brownies, the female version of the cubs/scouts. Those were the days of easy living and long summers. It is amazing how the brain only remembers the good times from childhood in a hazy manner. My memories of the Brownies was a brown shift dress that had only one badge on it. My pixie sixes group badge and that was it. I also remember playing lots of games and laughing a lot. I was even bad at doing homework then because I remember having small books with homework on Brownie stuff, I assume. I never did any of the extra badges like baking cakes or wood turning. I remember it being a good time though.
As far as I can tell the Brownies is still going strong and I know that my 9 year old niece goes. The uniform has changed quite a bit from my day. It is more yellow and brown now. I wonder if the girls can wear trousers – showing my age by remembering the days of girls/women being told they can’t wear trousers to clubs or work. I was put off joining the Girl Guides by visiting one before leaving the Brownies and finding the atmosphere wasn’t as nice. Large groups of girls during the teenage years is not a nice place to be so no wonder I didn’t like the visit. Thinking about it now the Adventure Scouts would have been a better club to join as it is mixed . So, my memories on being a pixie are very green and fond of dancing and music. Ummm, that doesn’t sound too bad, maybe I should become a pixie again.