Three days of sunshine

Day three of sunshine in the UK and I think it has gone to my head. It also went to my shoulders and neck, even with factor 20 on but that might be due to the fact that they don’t see much daylight so the first bit of sun and my skin goes all a bit burnt.  With spending the day at the coast in Mersea Island and having a BBQ I’m in a state of chill, which means my writing takes a hit. Basically I just can’t think of anything worthy to write about – nothing to moan about and nothing to write about that I think is interesting enough. Nothing to write about that I need to get off my chest.  I’m sure as the weeks progresses I will have new things to write about including the old anxieties but for now it feels like I have a bit of writers block.

New things to try

This is going to be a very quick post as it is a lovely day here and I want to spend as much as possible outside looking at my plants, especially after I purchased some vegetables. I got a couple of Butternut squashes, a courgette, a aubergine and a pumpkin. Now I’ve got to keep them alive. On other new things that I’m trying to do, I’ve been trying to remember my childhood skills of potato stamping for invites to a BBQ that we are going to hold in July. Had a quick go just now and I think my perfection on everything has differently increased since I was eight but I will keep practicing and buying potatoes. I’ve also booked my first ever piano lesson that will start in the middle of June. I’ll write more about that nearer the time. The other new thing is that I would like to do some cooking so I’m going to have a go at making veggie burgers. Not sure if that will be now or tomorrow but I will try the recipe out one day this week. A new recipe a week is the plan – I might have to start working at home on those days so I can prepare at lunchtime. Well, that is it – hope everyone is enjoying their weekends.

Camelot Castle

Last weekend I went on a big family weekend away to Camelot Castle in Tintagel on the Cornwall coastline. The actual weekend away was lovely mainly due to the nice weather and the scenery.  The hotel on the other hand was laughable.  Camelot Castle is a big, imposing building that is over looking the Altantic, almost a blot on the landscape but it was built in 1899 before planning permission laws was in force.  Unfortunately most of the hotel feels like it hasn’t been decorated since the 70s and all the nice Victorian features that are left are falling into ruin.  The cloakroom/toilet by the bar area was a mixture of pink tiles (some of which were falling off the walls) and a beautiful original Victorian mosaic tiled floor. The bar area was straight out of the 70s and most of the communal areas were thread bare.  The bedrooms didn’t fair much better either. We had a deluxe refurbished room but for the price we paid for it, it sure didn’t feel like deluxe.  There was non of the extras that normally is provided in a hotel like a box of tissues, shower gel, a floor mat for the shower, an alarm, welcome pack, biscuits, beds made everyday. My in-laws had cheaper rooms at £40 a night each and they were hideous with 50s style wallpaper and 1940s furniture. The furniture could be nice if it wasn’t in such bad shape.

The owners had decided that to spruce up the place by hanging lots of art work by one of the owners. Now if it was good art then I wouldn’t have minded but it wasn’t.  Basically most of it my nieces could have painted. Also there was abundance of photos around the place of the two owners – John Mappin (heir to the Mappin & Webb jewellery empire) and Ted Stourton (the artist). Also, lots of poems and newspaper articles about the owners were all over the lounge areas. One evening I did some research about the place and found out that the owners are members of the Scientology. No wonder there was photos of Tom Cruise and John Travolta about the place. Maybe also explains why the place has been in a refurbishment program since 2001 without much success – all their money must go to the Scientology. I wouldn’t recommend this hotel to anyone but I will say that the staff were really nice and helpful and if the rooms were a bit cheaper instead of £130 a night for a fairly decent room then I wouldn’t be complaining so much.

Some of the art work…

Is summer here?

Even though yesterday was a bit of a wash out, today has been a lot warmer with the closeness that happens now and again. It feels like that there should be a big storm to clear the air. Still the weather forecast looks like it is going to be really nice over the weekend especially in the South East area.  The one major problem with changing seasons is what to wear. For weeks of wearing pretty much the same clothes as it chilly in the mornings and evenings but warm during the midday has meant lots of layers. Note: I have washed these same clothes in between wears.  This evening is oddly warm which could mean that summer is on it’s way, thus meaning that I will have to change my outfits for work now.

Which also brings me to the fact that I will have to go through that painful act of wearing sandals again and the expensive purchase of plasters for the blisters that I always get. I will also have to carry around a cardigan for the office as the air conditioning can be a tad cold at times but it’s not needed on the tube as that will be like an oven. Ah, the joy of the tube in the summer.  At the weekend I will have to go through my wardrobe and sort out my summer clothes. Pack the jumpers and winter coats away.  Also, I’m going to start wearing some of the clothes that I have been saving for ‘best’ as I don’t really go anyway smart enough to wear them all. Instead of spending a small fortune on new clothes I’m going to dig around in my wardrobe to see what I already have. Now how non-spendthrift is that.

Photos from Cornwall

Four nights spent in Tintagel, Cornwall and all I got was a lousy t-shirt. Not really, I actually got some clotted cream with scones, farmhouse pickle and some lovely photos of the surrounding area. Sometimes I feel that sticking a lot of photos in a post is cheating (and in a way it is) but I thought everyone should see some nice sunny pictures of the English countryside while I’ll think about the post that I’m going to write about the crazy hotel we stayed in owned by an odd artist and a jewellery store heir.

Wave watching

The view

Port Isaac

Jamaica Inn

Hunting for fairies with my niece

Tintagel Castle

Boscastle

Almost back to reality

After a great trip to a wonderful part of the England that is Cornwall (I will write more about Cornwall later this week with some pictures), I’m trying to avoid reality but not checking my emails, which is really hard with an iPod touch. Oh, damn I’ve just checked them but nothing urgent or important that will take up my time or play on my mind over night. Stupid really, as I’ve could have been worrying about my emails all night and fretting (like my mother) about them. Then by the time I had re-read the email in the morning then it wouldn’t seem to be as bad as I thought. Anyway, I digress. I’ve still managed to do the usual chores that happen when back from a break like emptying the suitcase and put a load of laundry on. I remember the days of living at home with my parents and vaguely remember not doing any of those chores. Also, having a favourite home cooked meal ready was always a welcoming sight. Short(ish) post tonight as I’m still not fully back in to writing and I’ve got a beer to finish off.

Quick holiday post

Just a quick post today as I’m in Cornwall staying in the funniest/weirdest hotel ever. It’s late at night and after travelling for about nine hours, OK we did stop a couple of times including visiting a friend for a least an hour but still it was a mammoth drive. The coast is beautiful down here so I will post some pictures over the next few days including some information about this strange hotel with the most oddest art that is displayed all over the place.  

Wrote this yesterday and hit ‘publish’ but it seems not to have worked in Safari… most odd. Anyway, I’ve just managed to get this published in time for Saturday, hopefully I’ll get more time tomorrow to write much more.

And another thing!

Not really but carrying on from yesterday’s post, another thing about not being fully aware of everything and generally feeling like shite most of time means I’ve gone off shopping. I think it started with feeling ill and claustrophobic when in busy surroundings. Going to a shopping centre just made it worse so gradually I stopped going except for those emergencies like birthdays. This should have been great for my bank balance but I still managed to spend very penny on what I can’t tell. I found I could do smaller shops where I knew what I wanted like buying whiskey from the spirits shop and cards from Paperchase because it is a small shop in Covent Garden.

Now that I’m feeling almost normal, the bank balance has taken a big hit. Shopping for clothes in H&M and TopShop, books and notebooks (plus more books from Amazon) and now that the weather is slowly starting to improve, it makes me want to buy lots of new summer clothing but I know I won’t as I don’t have the cash for it.  The only thing I will get next pay day is some new jeans. Since I’ve been wearing them everyday for work my jeans are fading and getting worn out.  Once I’ve got some new jean then I’m seriously considering getting myself a SLR digital camera so I can be a happy snapper!

Standing still

There is one problem with feeling ‘normal’ after months of not feeling ‘normal’ and that is that the reality of time is much clearer. While feeling miserable (I can’t think of a better word for it) I just spent the whole time wishing the days away, waiting for weekends so I could sleep or rest, hoping for the time when I felt right. At the moment I’m having more good days than bad (a lot of the bad days I put down to sleep quality not quantity) so I’m more reflective on my life and where it has been and going. That is the problem with worry – it is waste of time and life.

Then this morning I was suddenly hit with the reality that it was Wednesday and the middle of May. I just can’t believe it is nearly June (half the year nearly gone) and I’ve not done anything new with my life. My running hasn’t improved, I’ve not got back into ice-skating, I haven’t learnt any more HTML/CSS since last year, I’m still doing the same old thing. Standing still while the world rushes pass at an alarming rate. I think half the issue is that to change anything or do new things, it is all down to me and no one else. I’m like an ostrich and would rather stick my head in the sand to avoid change, upset, new challenges. I think half the time I’m scared that I will turn into my parents – working, not working, struggling to pay the mortgage, living in the same house for 35 years and not seeing the world. Maybe I should just accept everything and just carry on as normal, push these fears to one side and be happy with what I’ve got instead of yearning for what I don’t have.

A size of a book

Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that the more pages a book has the more daunting I find it, which in turn means I just can’t get in to it. Last year I managed to finish David Copperfield and I loved it but this year I been trying to read War & Peace. 200 pages in and I have now put it to one side. I’m now reading Grapes of Wrath which is 400+ pages and for some reason it just feels so much easier to get through.  If only War & Peace was printed in a trilogy form like Lord of the Rings, that I might be almost finishing it soon. Even today I picked up my Web Design in a Nutsell book which is about 1000+ pages and I thought to myself I would need a month off to finish this book.  I don’t think that is true but you get the idea.  Then I’ve got to get my brain to retain this new information.

I’m not a fast reader as it is, so using the methods that I’ve found on the internet to retain information, like writing notes while reading or mentally summarizing a chapter would just take me forever to finish a book but as I have read many times before, the more you read the better and faster at it you become. The same is said about writing and I have found that true with writing my blog. I’m still not a great speller, my grammar is something to be desired and I’m not a Wordsmith but compared to a year ago I have definitely improved.  Maybe my reading has improved but I just haven’t noticed. As I’m writing this I can hear the self doubt in myself again – I wonder where this terrible lack of confidence and constant desire for approval and praise comes from. On that note I’m going to go to bed now and read a few pages.