Being a bit stupid

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while but kept thinking I was looking attention/praise/sympathy which I’m not. Most things I write on here are my way of trying to understand what I’m thinking or looking for answers and not a way of looking for attention. So it all started when I was reading an article on Kristen Scott Thomas in one of the Sunday supplements last year and she was quoted in saying “it pains me that I’m not the sharpest tool in the toolbox” or words to a similar effect. Well, I know exactly how she feels except I’m not an stunning actress who can speak fluent French but I have days when I wish I was just a bit more clever. At least remember things that I’m reading or learning.

OK, I know I’m not completely thick but I work with (and have friends) who are very intelligent and sometimes in conversations I wish I could get it as well or if I don’t know something then I wish I could suck up the information like a sponge for future reference. I’m always been drawn to clever people and hanging around with them but I do wonder if they think “gawd she is stupid at times”. Maybe that’s why I would like to study a degree so I can learn new skills in learning new things or maybe I won’t feel as stupid. I always remember one teacher saying after I had failed a couple of my exams, that I wouldn’t have passed them anyway eventhough I had been on a sinking boat six months before. Anyway, I retook them and managed to pass them but what he said has always stayed with me. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking like this and just keep plugging away at learning new things.

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