What do you want?

I’ve been pondering this question for ages now – what do I want… to do with my life/work/home. I still can’t figure it all out and half of me thinks that I shouldn’t want as I can’t get everything I want. I wonder if saying “I would like” is a cop out though – it means if you don’t get it or fail at something then it don’t matter but if you want something (and tell people) and it doesn’t happen, then it will matter. Will people look at me different or stop being my friend? Will I let other people down? This article is from one the blogs that I read – it’s a great read about being scared for what you want.

I keep thinking I would like to do something more creative with my time and maybe working one day less at my present company (if they let me that is) so I could explore the ideas that I have. I’m scared that I won’t do anything on that day off, or that I won’t enjoy my time off, get lonely, run out of money and have to go back full time with my tail between my legs. Most friends that I know who go part-time do because of having kids (and for the record I’m not going down that route just to work part-time). Knowing me I will still be pondering this question next year/ten years but sometimes it’s good to write these thoughts down.

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