It’s been emotional.  Actually it hasn’t but I just felt like starting with that line and I can’t even remember what film/TV show that it comes from. The emotional part is on my part on not crying when I talking to friends about how I’m feeling at the moment. Like today, when I saw my sister-in-law and she asked how I was. After a bit of moaning about my lack of interest with work, I mentioned about my panic moments while out on Friday night. I was really brave in that I didn’t cry while standing in a Chinese restaurant (even with my eyes welling up) while she said she will help me with trying to calm down and stop the panic moments. She has a good friend who works as a beauty therapist and she said that I should start having massage to help me relax and maybe even look in to hypnotherapy.

Not sure if I have the courage to really sort myself out but with friends behind me I might get somewhere as I’m getting really bored with feeling like this all the time. Or maybe I love it really! Honestly, I’m hating it as I used to love going out – I hated being at home. I always had to go out during the weekends, none of this staying in. Now all I do is stay in. Hardly go to the pub, hardly go shopping unless I really have to and don’t make plans to go out. I just about get to work but that does depend on each day (some are better than others but I guess everyone is like that). There is a plus side to staying in though – this blog for one. Baking is another and so is sewing. Though I do think I could still do these and manage to go out more often. So, bring on the massage!


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