Pushy Parents

Most news stories about children and parents I normally pass on reading as I’m not a parent but one story keeps catching my eye about pushy parents“Kirsty Young has hit out at the “modern disease” of pushy parents who try to shape children into “baby Einsteins”.”

I always think of pushy parents as those types who push their kids to stage school so they end up on the Disney Club but now it seems to be all about who well they do at school even if the kids are only five.  Just as bad is parents that don’t push at all. I keep trying to think back to my childhood to see what I was pushed at or if I was pushed at all. I remember always being good at art and the 100 metres sprit. I once asked to play to violin because my friend did but my mum doesn’t like the noise of the violin so I couldn’t. I was encouraged to do art and when I had an interest in hairdressing at the age of 12 (such high aspirations I had), my parents found out what qualifications I would need for that. Thus I did chemistry and biology GCSEs because I wanted to be a hairdresser. Of course, I changed my mind a year later and failed chemistry.

My art teacher helped me to decide on my college course of Display Design and while on this course I also considered going to University. Helped by a tutor I applied for a couple of fashion courses at different Universities on the South coast. I didn’t get a place but in my heart I knew I didn’t want to go. I had just met my husband (boyfriend at the time) and nerves got the better of me about moving away from home. I have a vague feeling that my parents didn’t want me to go but they did come with me to at least one of the interviews. I wonder if university was always mentioned as I was growing up then the idea of going wouldn’t have been so bad. Or a bit more encouragement at school. I kind of wish now that I was pushed in to going to University but that will be one of my regrets that I will live with forever. This could be the real reason behind my desire to get a degree now so I can lay that ghost to rest.

3 Responses to “Pushy Parents”

  1. 1 AllThingsToNoOne January 12, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    Parents these days force children to do things that are not always in their best interest for the sake of competiton or because they are living vicariously through them.

    My kids are 16 and 20 and I have witnessed this so often when mine were growing up. I never had to encourage the oldest to do much of anything, but the youngest needed a little help feeling confident.

    I wish my parents had pushed me a little harder as a child. I was allowed to quit piano lessons when I got lazy. I dropped out of college and just now am thinking of finishing that. (I’m 45 years old.)

    Parents need to take a step back and stop obsessing over their children so much. Kids will grow up fine if you give them guidance, love, and boundaries.

  2. 3 whyworktoday2967 October 29, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Pushy Parents.

    What no one has talked about is the possibility of a zero sum game here.
    When any parent asks for more help with homework, or more of any kind of help from their teacher, this can result in less time for the other 20 or more children. Where class sizes are smaller in fee paying schools, the zero sum game has less effect. Indeed, smaller class sizes is one of the most important things one is paying for.

    Where class sizes are larger, and they can be in state schools, the effect is greater. The worst scenario is when two classes are put into one, in a crisis.

    Realism in parents includes an awareness of all this. Of course one can now argue that any help given by a parent at home does not have this effect, as there are no other children present. But even here there is a problem. Not all parents have the time, the inclination, the ability to help their own children at home. Indeed some research has shown that some few parents have had such a bad experience at their schools that they undermine the school to their own children. Realism required again.

    None of this is to suggest that parents should not do all they can for their own child. The really tricky thing is to work out how the positive effects on their own child can help others in the classroom.

    So, what to do? Are there experts out there who have considered this problem? I cannot help!

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