There are three types of people when it comes to homework: those who do it immediately and most probably ask for more to do, those who do their homework at the very last possible moment and secretly hope they can get away with not doing it and of course, whose who just didn’t do homework. I’m the one who waits until the last minute to do my homework though I do remember doing some college homework over the summer holidays at the very start of the holiday. All I can think is that the weather must have been crap. I need a deadline to get things done which is why I’m a terrible procrastinator on crafts that I start at home. Just for fun means no deadline. Of course the answer to the craft problem is to sell them but that is a whole other story. Last night I met up with a friend for a walk and a good chat. I think I have mentioned this before but she has a psychology degree, though she doesn’t practice… she works for a bank.

Anyway, she is the only close friend who has good clear advice about my anxiety issues and makes me step up to the real issues that I have to deal with. In turn I have a rubbish nights sleep and felt like crap for most of today but I think I have dealt with a few issues. Also, she made me realise that I’m trying to put off my homework (in the shape of working on my anxiety issues) by concentrating on other things like cutting back on sugar, trying to lose weight, worrying about not getting up early in the morning, not working full-time, even trying to live a zero-waste lifestyle. And she is right. I need to sit down with all the anxiety, panic leaflets and books I have and start working on the exercises. Writing my innermost thoughts down and setting goals on feeling better. Small steps with small goals. The problem with this type of homework is that when I’m thinking about my anxiety then I feel even worse than I normally do, so it is all a bit of a vicious circle. I just need to break that circle.

3 Responses to “Homework”

  1. 1 Kate W February 1, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    It may be a vicious circle, but try thinking of it as a vicious spiral staircase instead, and you’re moving up it. Baby steps, baby steps.

    Good eh?

  2. 2 Jo February 2, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    It’s those underlying issues that are the nub of all of this, and however painful and difficult it may be to get to the root of them (and however nice it is to focus on other distractions like the blood sugar theories), that’s going to be the best (and probably only) way to come out the other side. It’s what you’ll be doing in CBT too and if you are already thinking through some of the key problems, you may find your CBT is even more valuable and helpful. I feel really sure that this is all going to come good, Michelle – I feel really confident that you will ultimately look back on this period as something that was horrid and hard, but ultimately you had to get through in order to get back some of the quality of life you’ve been missing out on. Hang on in there – it’s going to all come good again xxx

    • 3 Michelle Best February 3, 2011 at 9:51 pm

      Kate: That is good thinking, I will remember that.

      Jo: Thanks for your kind words – I know one day it will come good.

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