I am learning oodles of things at the moment. From learning new roles when volunteering to learning new things about my psyche. I found when my anxiety was at its highest I stopped learning. Basically, I stopped looking beyond myself and even if I did peck outside myself nothing stayed for long in my memory. My brain was busy being stressed and anxious to remember silly or interesting facts. It has been ten weeks since I had my first session with my holistic therapist and I’m learning so much about myself and others too. Admittedly, it isn’t Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and I believe that would really help with the social/health anxiety, but I’m finding my holistic sessions invaluable. Talking about how the anxiety got this bad and talking with someone about the underlining problem has been wonderful. Sharing secrets is always better than bottling them up. I’m good at bottling up things but there are just some secrets that are hard to share with loved-ones and friends. I’ve learnt many things about myself and how my true self has taken a slight knocking over the years.

My wonderful therapist has said some nice things about me, quite a few I just can’t believe but as part of my learning I need to believe them and then I will become the person I would like to become. Also, I’ve now started to read a self-help CBT book I have on anxiety and I feel I have the confidence (and desire) to work my way through the exercises. No pain no gain, as the saying goes. A big factor of all this learning is to learn to relax. I’ve never been great at it but with aromatherapy massage and teaching myself mediation I’m hoping this will come in time. Finding the person before the anxiety is still going to take some time but it is an interesting journey all the same and learning is always good, not just remembering that George Washington is on a one-dollar bill (albeit handy for quiz nights!).


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