Deactivated

I’ve been letting go of stuff this week, namely Facebook. I was very brave and deactivated my account. Not sure how to delete it fully, I’m guessing that takes a bit more work but deactivation of the account is a good start. I haven’t ‘used’ Facebook for ages and just went on there to check out what a few friends where doing, in a stalker type of way. Then I realised I was just wasting my time by randomly checking it now and again. The only way to stop that sort of behaviour was to stop the account. Now it is done I don’t have any urges to find out what old school friends are doing at the weekend. If I was that bothered than I would be in touch with them in a more personal way by actually talking or writing to them. Still, I have Twitter to waste my time on but thankfully I only follow interesting people who provide me with much more interesting information than “Going out with girls tonight!!!!”.  As much as I dislike Facebook I’m very keen to see “The Social Network” when it is on Sky Movies and I don’t get that excited by movies (except the Harry Potter films – sad I know).

On the anxiety front I’ve been letting go of ‘trying to get better’. I’m currently reading a book that is written by the same person who writes an anxiety blog, an ex-sufferer and basically, the bottom line is that I need to stop thinking ‘Why is this happening to me?’, ‘Will I ever get better?’ and stop trying to stop the symptoms of anxiety and panic (tiredness, lightheaded, racing heart) as it just adds to all the stress. Fuels the anxiety (actually the adrenalin). I need to work towards my fears. It will be a slow process but just by reading the blog and book I know that I will recover. I’m not the only one who has felt the same way with the same symptoms. If only I could get that across to my-laws who seem to think doctors are the only way to ‘fix’ me.  One minute I feel quite encouraged about how I’m doing (i.e. going to a pottery class) and then I speak to a family member or a friend and I feel quite down about it all again. Maybe they can’t see the small progress I’ve made or I just don’t shout about it enough. This episode of my life can only make me stronger in the end. Gawd, that last sentence sounded not like me at all. Not at all British either. Happy Friday!

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