Posts Tagged 'work'

All Change

This week started out like any other normal week – work at home, volunteer at local forest centre, cook dinner, check Twitter, sleep etc etc. Then on Tuesday I got an email that threw me out of sync. It isn’t really that bad in the grand scheme of things – no one died.

When I left my old company, mainly due to my anxiety, I was kept on as a freelancer to help out with their daily news feed. Two and half years later I finally got that email that said my services were no longer required, immediately. I knew it would happen one day and to be honest there was many a time when I thought about giving this work up but it was a good source of income.

So, on Tuesday morning I sat there with my laptop looking at this email, not really knowing what to do next. I hate change. I got ready and went to my other little job feeling at a lost. The rest of the week has been a mix of feeling anxious and very tired from being anxious. I think it was the suddenness of it and that my morning routine is now different. I should really be embracing this change as I now have more time on my hands.

Honestly, my morning routine is a bit slow. I’m slow at getting going in the mornings. Slow at getting out of bed. Love my comfy bed. I would eventually get out of bed, go downstairs and have my breakfast. Then I would work on the news feeds in my dressing gown. Once finished I would shower and get dressed. On the days I didn’t have any other work then I would check the internet and then have lunch. The morning over and done with. My afternoons are often filled with other work, walking the dog, housework and cooking dinner.

Now is the time for me to change my routine. Change the habit. This change may help with the recovery of my anxiety (which I have to say now is 80% better than it was last year). As the saying goes “A change is as good as a rest”. I’m hoping this change will mean I will get out of bed earlier in the mornings, get dressed sooner and get loads more done before lunch. Maybe dog walks in the morning before I start my other jobs or some other type of exercise, though I’m actually better in the evening when it comes to exercise. Change is good but it is also bloody scary at times and takes a bit of time to get used to.

Work life

This week I started a new job, which sounds a bit weird to me as it is for only six hours a week. My new part-time job is at the holistic centre where I was going for help over my anxiety and I guess I will still need some ‘healing’ now and again but I’ll be able to have the appointment after work – handy. As someone said to my husband I have a new boss “who is understanding”. The good thing about the job is that I’ll be out the house for two days a week and my office looks over the most beautiful garden. It is early days but I feel it is going to be a good job, working with a lovely friend. The work isn’t anything fancy like healing people or doing aromatherapy massage but what I’m good at, admin work. So, I will be working to update the website, booking appointments, bits and pieces of typing and answering emails. As I’m only working three-hours per day then that gives me a chance to get home, walk the dog and catch up with any other work that has come in from my other clients.

So, in all work life is going well. I just need to keep up with everything including housework, food shopping and all the other things that I like to do. Sewing and baking. Getting organised is what I need but no lists. Foolishly I went back to writing lists after quite a well of not doing so but they just seem to make me panic and then I procrastinated even more on the work I had to do. From now on I won’t be writing anymore lists, just waiting down things that I need to remember. OK, I hear you saying “but that is a list”. It’s not a list in a normal sense because I won’t write down everything just the things that I know I might forget. Of course, if I forget then it isn’t that important or something will remind me. No more lists then! Happy Friday.

Busy as a bee

The past week or so I have noticed a few bees buzzing around the garden as spring approaches good and fast and surprisingly, I’ve been just as busy. I don’t think I’ve been this busy since I gave up work full-time. It all started last Thursday when I turned up a day early for my therapy/healing appointment. As the appointment was at ten in the morning, it meant I was dressed and ready and back home by ten past ten. This is a rarity for me as I’m not a morning person. So having felt like an idiot for getting my appointment wrong I managed to do something constructive with ‘the gift of time’ I had been given. Nothing exciting but food shopping, tidying up the house and taking the dog for a walk. Then it was Friday and I was up early again, doing my work before going to my appointment. On top of all of this, is the added anxiety of going to my appointments but the appointments are so I can get better.

My husband left very early Saturday morning for his annual ski trip and then I had friends over in the afternoon for cake and tea. Once they had gone I took the dog out and then it was dinner time. Sunday was out for lunch and before I knew it, time for dinner again. Cooking for yourself is boring and I spent most of the week feeling like I couldn’t be arsed. The rest of the week was a blur of work and more work with a walk with the dog each day. Then Thursday was pottery class and another therapy appointment. I can’t believe how nervous I was before the pottery class – it took all my mental and physical strength to get to the class but I made it and I made three pots on the potter’s wheel. My healing appointment went well so in all it was a good day but in the evening I was so tired that I could just about re-heat the leftover chilli for dinner. Friday was better but today is pants. I think it is just a combination of lack of sleep (I can never sleep well when in the house on my own), stress over work (covering work that I used to do, which of course, I gave up because of the stress of it), anxiety over appointments and general stuff, PMT and missing my husband. On a plus side I have written on my blog today and I’m thinking of making lemon drizzle cake. Oh, and maybe ordering a take-away for dinner instead of cooking. Now that sounds like a good plan while I’m waiting for said husband to come home.

It’s Friday

It doesn’t feel like a Friday to me though. The days are blurring into one very long day and not really a happy long day. It has just been one of those weeks and I’m sure going to the dentist on a Monday morning didn’t start it off well (even with perfect teeth, said the dentist). The nerves just got to me and I had to spend the rest of the day trying to get over it. Tuesday was a good day. I can’t remember what Wednesday was like so it must have been an okay day. Yesterday, was a very stressful day or I just made it a stressful day. School run and kid sitting duties were fine but I spent the whole of the day worrying about it. Today, was a tiring, fuzzy head day after a night of not much sleep, odd dreams (one about going on a date with a famous comedian, and no, it wasn’t Michael McIntyre) and then foolishly falling back to sleep at around 7am and waking up at 10am. I didn’t feel any better for catching up on my sleep and I always kick myself for wasting time in the day. I had such great plans for today – make peppermint bark, bake a cake, purchase the ‘secret Santa’ gift for New Year and finishing gift tagging the last two Christmas presents.

Nothing got done. I just about managed to take the dog for a walk and get some basic food shopping, though I couldn’t believe I forgot deodorant which was on the shopping list and the reason for going to the shops in the first place. I’m blaming hormones, too much anxiety flowing through my system, low self-esteem and Christmas. Hey ho, life goes on. In other news, my husband keeps nagging me about getting a full-time job or as I like to put it some more work that I can do at home. Maybe selling homemade drawstring bags is the way to go but I’m not really sure I would enjoy that as much as a job than just making a few now and again as gifts. Today, I had to dive into the CSS of my boss’s WordPress blog to see if I could get bullets to show up. With a bit of help from Google and actually remembering some CSS learnings from a few years ago I solved the problem but only to be scuppered by not having the permission to make changes on the site. Luckily, a quick email to the person who runs the site means the changes will be made soon and my CSS detection was correct. After this, it made me think about doing a course in HTML/CSS again but this time in real life and not as a virtual course. It is either that or pottery. Pottery is another thing I was learning a few years ago until sad circumstances stopped that class. Jeez, I just don’t know but if I did a course then at least I would get out the house. Happy Friday everyone!

An update

Hello World! It has been ages since I have written a real post and it sure does feel like it. The ‘Photo of the day’ project was fun but still there were days when I couldn’t be bothered or just couldn’t find a good enough photo to post. Now, I’m back to writing with the occasional photo. Woowho, I can hear the crowds cry… maybe not. So, the month of November went pass quickly and now it is 1st December with Christmas truly approaching fast. What has been happening? Well, I’m still working part-time at home, partially for my old company a few hours a day and for my old boss, who is now a self-employed consultant. I’m earning about a third of what I was before I left full-time employment but actually feel richer. Okay, the savings aren’t top up as much as they were but I’m not paying for travel and there is no need to buy breakfast or lunch. No longer am I tempted by the shops near the office. Though online shopping is a bit of a curse. Maybe I just feel richer because I’m no longer part of the rat race.

As much as I’m enjoying this new career path (not really sure I would call it a career) I need to find some other work to top it up. This is mainly at the request of my husband, though I’m not sure on how I’m going to fit anymore work in, especially when there is housework and cooking to do. In other news, I’m getting out more and the anxiety seems to get better. I’ve mostly done this by learning a small but quick breathing exercise for when I’m out and about plus distraction techniques which I’m learning from a book I have. I’m still on the waiting list (I rang them last week to check) for some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – it has been a year now! Ho hum. The pup is getting bigger and we are both enjoying our daily walks over the park. It actually feels like the walks are helping me with my anxiety and I may have lost a tiny amount of weight as well. I think that is it for an update and not one mention of snow! I’m saving that for future posts.

What has been going on?

The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind in the space-time continuum. I’ve done a lot of sewing (just call me the drawstring bag queen), travelled on a very long train journey without too much anxiety, went to the coast for a long weekend, started working for my old boss on a freelance basis and dug up potatoes from the garden. I’ve also picked runner beans from the garden and cooked home-grown onions. Taken the puppy for walks on the beach and sat in a beer garden of a country pub. Listened to lots of music and had lots of time of think of what is important (and not).

Now for things that I haven’t done – not made any bread in the past two weeks, or cakes for that fact. My study/dressing room is still a mess and needs a good tidy. Haven’t finished the book I started a month ago or done any drawing/painting. Oh, hell I haven’t done half the stuff I thought I would have time for. Of course, working is taking up some of that time, which I wasn’t expecting when I handed in my notice to take the summer off. Now, I’ve just got to decide if I should get a part-time job as well as my freelance work. At the moment I don’t really want to think about getting a new job (going for interviews and all that shit) but maybe after my holiday I might change my mind.

10 things… #3

3. A routine. I have more time on my hands now but I don’t seem to be getting more done. The day just flies past that before I know it and then dinner needs to be prepared. Disappointingly (or more likely I’m disappointed in myself) all I have done is 2 hours work, showered and got ready, made lunch, walked the dog and cleaned up the kitchen. I’m sure I did something else but not as much as I had hoped. It’s not always like that, one day I will get tons done but the following day I won’t get anything done. How comes when I was working the day can seem soooooo long? Not all the time but there were days when it felt like it would never end.

So, now I’m trying to get back in to a routine. Like I did have when I was working in London. I’m going to try and get out of bed at the same time everyday, instead of getting up at a random times, usually hitting the snooze button a few times. If I can do that at a reasonable time (say 7.30 am – I’m not an early morning person), then I can have my breakfast and then get ready so I can start my 2 hours work at 9am. Then I would finish work somewhere between 10.30-11.00, giving me an hour to do some household chores and maybe 10 minutes of yoga before lunch. Then I can walk the dog and have the rest of the afternoon to do all the fun things I wanted to do like sewing, teaching myself HTML, drawing, gardening, reading, seeing friends. Here’s to a routine, hopefully starting tomorrow (fingers crossed I don’t hit the snooze).


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