Third time lucky. This is the third time I have tried to write this story and I can never get the beginning right. The two that I wrote before always started out with some jokey line but I feel I need to write this with a bit more thought and with the seriousness that it deserves. If I had never started this blog back in March I don’t think I would ever write about my survivor story but I’m hoping that it be some sort of therapy in writing about it and I can finally put it to rest. So this post is more for me than my readers.
On the 21st October, 1988 the Jupiter Cruise liner sunk just outside Athens in the port of Piraeus after being hit by the car carrier Adige in the engine room. I was one of the unfortunate ones to be on the boat and this is my story.
It was a school trip, visiting the Pyramids, Jerusalem and various Greek Islands and there was about ten of us from my school (Sanders Draper School). Including two teachers, there was six of us from the same year at school and a couple were close friends of mine. One of them I actually persuaded to come along instead of going on the school skiing trip. The guilt of that haunted me for years. The trip started in Athens at the port of Piraeus and we all boarded the Jupiter on a sunny afternoon. There was about 600 passengers/crew on board. I remember being shown our cabins, I was sharing with a friend but I now cannot remember who. I also remember my grandad, who was a tailor, had made me a couple of waistcoats for the trip. The next thing I remember is that half of the passengers (mostly school kids) where to go to the restaurant for dinner while the other half were to have an safety induction. My school was part of the safety induction and had to go down to one of the lower decks. Sitting around tables in an area that I would associate with a club/bar area nowadays, we set sail. The induction began and then bang! The whole boat rocked, like a tidal wave had just hit us. Looking across the room I could see what looked like an iceberg at the windows for all I could see was white. The white painted hull of the Adige had just hit the Jupiter. At first no one knew what it was, I don’t remember there being any alarm being raised, so we all just sat there while one of the teachers went off to see what had happened. Then, tables and empty chairs started to move on their own accord, just slightly as if it was a magic trick. Gradually the chair I was sitting in started to slide towards the windows, by this time I was terrified and at the age of 15 you still need someone to tell you what to do. This didn’t happen and then panic set in as the furniture started to slide past everyone as the boat had listed about 30 degrees. In a surreal moment is was like being at the fun fair and being trapped in the “fun house”. Everyone started to make their way to the stairs, at a 30 degree angle this is quite hard. It was actually like walking on the wall of the stairwell but your body does amazing things when it has to. I will never forgot trying to walk, actually climb up the staircase/wall at such an angle with the knowledge that the boat is sinking.
Next thing I remember is sitting on the deck handrail with the boat listing at about 45 degrees. By this time it was dark. I can’t remember how I got there from the stairs, I must have blocked that out. Sitting on this handrail about me was most of my school friends. Through a network of mostly Chinese whispers we heard that most people had got off the boat unharmed. Maybe we thought if we just sat there then it would be our turn to move along the line to get off the boat as well. After what felt like a lifetime that the boat didn’t list anymore, suddenly we could hear plates smashing from the restaurant area near us. This noise increased as did the panic in everybody that was left on this handrail. While sitting on a handrail on a listing boat not seeing anything but the black sky and lots of lights from all the other ships in the area, is one of the most terrifying things I have experienced. It’s not knowing if we would get off the boat safely without having to swim or if the boat would suddenly sink completely without having time to escape. With the noise of the plates smashing a few people had jumped off the rail in to the water – this caused a panic that everyone should get in to the water before the boat sunk. I remember sliding along the handrail and then the next thing I know I’m hanging off the rail with my hands and my feet dangling towards the water. Then I let go (must have been one of those real sink or swim moments!) but I don’t actually remember thinking this is it or I having a flash back to my childhood. So I slid down the deck and in to the dark cold water that was full of debris from the boat, bits of wood and plastic, diesel oil (the smell of diesel oil can take me back there in a flash). I remember swimming towards a piece of wood and grabbing it and there was another girl holding on to it as well. She said to me “quick swim the boat is going down and it will drag us under”. Then the two of us grabbed a life-ring that a Greek fisherman had thrown out to us. Everything else happened in slow moment from then on – getting picked up by the fisherman on his small boat with my new friend (sadly, I cannot remember her name now), the fisherman taking his trouser belt off which caused me and my friend to panic thinking he was going to assault us (I honestly don’t know what he was thinking or going to do at the time) so we started to scream really loud and we got the attention of the Greek coast guard. Then we were safely on the coast guard boat with blankets wrapped around us and being taken back to the shore. I have a vague memory of seeing the boat actually sink fully before getting out of the water but the image is really dim. Back on the shore I managed to find my other school friends and teachers and then we had go on to another cruise liner that was moored there. This just added to the scariness of everything – getting back on another boat. Not that is was going anywhere but it was the only place to put 600 people. All ten of us where placed in one cabin and I remember there was brandy being passed around to calm us down. That was a long night – speaking to my mum was really hard as I didn’t want to cause a scene as she was really upset. Lots of crying, talking and not much sleep happened that night. The next day we flew home.
From the few reports I found online (there isn’t many) it said the boat sank in 40 mins and only 25 children had to swim to safety. Also, sadly I know that two passengers and two crew died that night. I can’t really remember much about getting home and afterwards but I do remember having nightmares and the doctor wanted to put me on anti-depressants which I didn’t take. I went on an art school trip to Paris the following year by boat – I stayed outside for the whole of the crossing. I can go on boats as long as they are small and I can see outside. Unfortunately, I don’t see any of my school friends that were involved in the disaster now, either it was just because we grew apart or we didn’t want to have something like that in common with each other. So, that’s my story and most probably explains a lot of my phobias that I have now.
Bloody hell! I can’t even begin to imagine what that must’ve been like. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to get on a boat again though.
Thanks for sharing the story. Glad you made it off the boat OK.
I nearly went on that trip with TP riley school. The only reason i didnt was because i had been on the France trip the year before & my mom & dad couldnt afford to let me go again. It chills me to think if i did go would i still be here today. I know one of the passengers that died was my History Teacher (Bernard Butt, 41). He is hailed a hero as he saved many lifes on that tragic day.
Hi Tracy – thanks your comment. I would say that your guardian angel was on your side when it came to going on the cruise. So sorry to hear that you knew the teacher that died (and thanks for his name – a small tribute to him is now forever on the web). It is so sad that anyone had to died that day. Many thanks again.
Hi Michelle – can’t tell you how good it was to read about your experience. I too was on that boat and the event has pretty much destroyed my life. Depression, PTSD, alcohol, and drugs have been the easier things to deal with. I didn’t get off that boat and Mr Butt, also my teacher, and who also saved my life, was one of the last people i saw before it sank. Afterward I couldn’t believe he didn’t make it as I was standing right next to him when we went down. I too have tried many times to write about my experiences that evening but have never been able to complete it and so I know exactly how difficult that was to do. Well done. And thank you. Gonna stop writing now as I’m welling up! Think it’s time to let it go.
Hope you have a happy future. J
Hi Jon, thank you so much for your comment. It takes a lot to write especially on something so difficult. It is nice to hear from other survivors (because that is what we are) so we don’t have to feel like we are the only ones still dealing with this. I hope one day you will get to write down your story.
Have a wonderful future too. Michelle
I sailed on the Jupiter in the Easter of 1988. When I heard about the sinking I was amazed that the casualty rate was so low. If it had happened at night, when most people were far far below in those narrow, winding corridors and tiny rooms deep in the hull, it would have been an absolute catastrophe.
Thank you for your story. My cossin was on that boat with T.P Riley school, ive been trying to find information about it for a while. my cossin recently told me that i remind him too much of that night because i was born litterally a couple of days before he went and a few details of what happened that night. Now you have helped me to really understand. If some people dont know there is a small plaque and a tree in the t.p riley school (now Bloxwich Academy) in memory of Mr Butt who passed away that night.
Hi Roxy – I’m glad that my story has helped you to understand what you cousin went through. Hopefully this will help with your relationship with him. Thank you for letting me know about the plaque.
hi, god im sending you this on a night that for god knows why im really thinking about it. think its cos i have been talkin to loads of my old school friends on facebook. not about the cruise but by just talking to them i have been thinking about it. im 34 now and im still not over it. i cant go on boats or swim or even look at the sea. it normaly takes a week before i can even put my legs in the water of the pool when i go on my holidays. i live in manchester and still remember it like it was yesterday. i turned down any help when i was a kid to help me get over it, not sure if that was the best idea now im 34 and still feel like crap about it. i wish people could understand how bad it can make you feel, i put on a brave face when i talk about it and even make jokes about it. but its hard. i think that we were so hard done by, and that im so not the person i used to be. i remember once my mum saying that since i came off the boat i was not her son. i found it so hard to deal with.i would love to see photos of it or news footage of it now, anything to help me get over it . anyway its nice to talk to someone who was there, take care. feel free to get intouch with us x
Hi John, thanks for the comment. It is always nice to hear from fellow survivors – it is a shame that you are still not over it. Well, I don’t think anyone can get over it but we have to get on with life. It is just harder to do that then I think it would have been if the disaster had never happened. These things happen to test us so keep trying to make it in to a positive thing. One of my good friends is always telling me this “Be here now” – it is easy to forget but can it help out with everyday life.
For pictures and news about the cruise that is proving impossible to find anything decent – it all happened before the internet but The Times are in the process of archiving all their newspapers between 1985-now. They only have before 1985 at the moment but hopefully the rest will be uploaded on the Times site soon.
Take care and hope life improves for you. PS. writing about it helps a lot, maybe try that.
Hi, thank God I have found this blog, i was beginning to wonder if anyone ever remebered this disaster. I too am a surviver along with my sister. Luckily she didn’t suffer as badly as me. I did have counselling of various different types but I am still suffering. Not a day has gone passed when I don’t think about it. It has been a struggle, i am still on the anti depressants and was told by one of my shrinks that I would never be off them! I have been lucky coz my other half has been supportive and helps me with my phobias. I have tried to do some boat trips, but they terrify me and I still won’t go in the sea.
But I am determined not to let it stop me from doing things, and I am really praying that my little boy does not go through anything like this or pick up on any of my fears. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
I still have a couple of the newspaper reports from that time and I have five photos of the boat sinking, everyone from our school (Frances Bardsley, Romford, Essex) got a copy. Not quite sure how I can upload them, it was only by chance that I came across this link.
Take care and good luck to all survivors
hi guys would be really good to talk you on facebook, what are ypur ID’s. To bring closure i think i need to go there and say good bye. do you think this is possible4
I have added a group on facebook, – jupiter disaster survivors
Hi Julia – I don’t really use FB very much but I’ll join your group. Thanks for all the comments and hope the suffering gets easier for you. I think we all have dealt with it in our own ways but at least we all can relate to the disaster, which in it’s own way is helpful. Take care and see you on the FB group.
Very many thanks for this personal story – i am a writer and trainer working in the field of PTSD and would very much like to use your story within the training environment. Would you be happy for me to do this?
Perhaps you could contact me on my email address so that you can approve or disaprove of my using this information – it is a very useful personal story and after 20 years i feel you are extremely brave to publish it.
Do please contact me – you can check me out at Jessica Kingsley Publishers if you so wish.
this was an excellent piece of writing.
Hi, it was so good to find this page and comments from others. i was 12 when the jupiter sank, i have never really dealt with it, i have shut it out for 20 years! but the last few days i started thinking about it, and haven’t been sleeping well. still awake at 3am and woundering why after 20 years it has finally come back to haunt me? i never attended reunions at my school and didn’t want to think about it. My school published a book called jupiters children, it has all our accounts and photos in it. there are only 200 copies left in print. I went to cator park girls school, beckenham, london. best wishes sarah-janex
Hi Sarah-Jane, thanks for leaving a comment. It is really nice to hear from others who know what we all went through. Thanks for mentioning that book Jupiter’s Children which I found a scanned copy of on Google Book Search – one of these days I will sit down to read it. Many thanks and take care. Michelle – http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=wgfBvLlhwlUC&dq=jupiters+children&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=ljRQUchYIp&sig=0BbqfcgG00zGBtUEyjoVFh7mH-w&hl=en&ei=u6ytSZKjCJmzjAf92YyjBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=9&ct=result#PPP1,M1
Hi!
I am so moved and full of admiration for you all ,your stories and glad to hear that you are ok. I worked as a Ground Hostess and checked you and your school friends onto the flight out of Gatwick, and waited anxiously along with distraught parents for news of you all. I was not much older than many of you myself at the time, and have never forgotten.
I am sorry, but not surprised, given that I have never forgotten the disaster you encountered, that some of you appear to still be suffering the effects. I am now a psycotherapist specialising in truama. I really and truly hope that you can draw strength from each other and continue to move forward with your lives. I have enormous respect for the courage and strength you have all shown and feel honoured to read your experiences. I wish you all peace.
Victoria x
Hi Michelle
Thanks for sharing your story,writing about it helps to kill off some of those demons,as did the children in Mary Campion’s book “Jupiter’s Children”.
There seems to be a mass of Psychological investigation work on the web ref. this tragedy, but not so much detail of what actually happened.
I am looking for whatever details I can glean on behalf of the widow of one of the Greek seamen who saved many passengers but unfortunately suffered a head injury and was drowned.
Mrs Golematis is a dear friend who like many of the other victims is having to come to terms with the trauma of the situation and the loss of a husband and father of her daughter.
I have just secured a copy of Jupiter’s Children which I shall be sending to her in the hope she may find some solace in the reading.
should you uncover any data I would be really pleased is you could let me know and I would pass anything I have for your perusal should you wish.
KInd Regards
David Cook
I was supposed to go on the Jupiter cruise but because it sank a month before we were scheduled to go we were allocated a repalcement ship – The World Rennasisance cruise liner, i heard about the Jupiter incident and watched the story on the news, my family were planning to cancel my trip but i convinced them that these things don’t normally happen and was very unfortunate for all on board especially the the families of the four that lost their lives. My school Churchfields High in West Bromwich had a few cancellations our group went on the cruise in november on the replacement Cruise liner and we had a very good time and returned safley. The thought of wat happened to all those on the jupiter was always with me especially as i slept in my cabin at night which was at the lowest deck.
Hello lucky,brave survivors of the Jupiter incident.
I am trying to find more of the detail of this terrible accident on behalf of the widow and daughter of Tassos Golematis friends of mine in Greece. He was one of the crew who unfortunately lost his life that night.
I believe he was instrumental in helping many of the passengers off the sinking ship before he suffered a head wound and was unfortunately drowned.
Any information regarding his efforts that night would be welcome so I can pass it on to Mrs Golematis.
David Cook
Email Groundzero@talktalk.net
Very moving reading this, I too was onboard as part of the party from Gaynes School. For years I was relatively unaffected by this but the older I get the more it haunts me. The moment the chairs went flashes into my mind as though it is happening at the oddest moments but always when I am about to board a plane. I don’t tend to get on many ships these days so I guess it transfers. Thanks for writing this. I have a load of press cuttings off this somewhere, if I find them I’ll post back in case anyone wants a copy.
Hi Iain
I’m sorry to hear that you still have worrying flashbacks to the trauma you experienced in 1988.I wonder if your subconcious is warning you to take care. I recently purchased a used copy of Juipiter’s Children from Amazon, it is worth a read and may help.
I think that publishing this book must have helped children and adults who were involved in this accident to discuss and report the events and their retrospective feelings about the sinking.
I am only looking in from outside trying to gain information for a friend, therefore cannot gauge the full individual effects but can imagine that there are many demons still to be laid to rest.
If you have any information that may assist me I should be grateful,I have posted my email address on the previous post before yours.
Regards
David Cook
Hi, i too was on the Jupiter (Gaynes School)and like many others, i feel that it has been forgotten and overshadowed by other events that occurred around that time. I didn’t receive any help after and went completely off the rails for about six months. I was only told this by family and friends as i have no recollection of what happened in that period of time.
There is a happy ending, however, as i dragged myself back to the real world and after a few retakes, passed my A levels and went to University. I am now an Osteopath running my own clinic in Clevedon, Somerset. At the clinic there is a counsellor who specialises in PTSD and even though it was 18 years after the event, it has helped me immeasurably with things i didn’t even realise were a problem. At first i felt a little stupid sitting there recounting what happened in a matter a fact kind of way, but i was really surprised that the deeper we went, how raw it all still felt and it wasn’t long before i was crying my eyes out. Afterwards i felt exhausted but weirdly like i had let something go and it has made me more confident and positive.
I would strongly urge anyone who is still having problems to find a specialist in PTSD and have a few sessions, you’ve got nothing to lose. Good luck to all.
I was on this ship, it is now 21 years passing, my friends sister died (vivienne Barley)
I still cannot go on ships (pedalo is just about the most i could manage) It was like a film, i was unucky to be in the middle of the top deck when she sank and had to jump into the water, i thought it was the end, never forget the people that helped me onto the tug boat that saved my life, i was 13.
Hi
I was working on the ship on the night in question at 18 and having gainfully been employed for about 50 minutes when there was aloud bang!
I still feel a bit churned up when talking about it but have been incredibly lucky compared to so many of the survivors. Possibly being in a news story that only lasts the medias attention span made what could have been disasterous less important in the publics eye. We were all young and experiencing such excitment and tension was both the best and worst evening of my life.
It is amazing to see so many people still affected, I couldn’t feel excited for years and still sometimes feel I hold back from laughing out loud or just fully letting go. My wife has helped massively and I have not had the depressed feelings I had years ago (touch wood) when the whole world seemed to collapse around me (when I was tired usually) and all I could do was shut off the outside. Strangely I found a copy of Jupiters Children and bought it more as a chronicle of what happenned so my children could understand what letters from Schools Abroad were all about and a silver armada dish given to sttaff really means.
I remember being at the top of a flight of stairs for a long time and then waiting at the opposite end to the tug boats, thinking we would all just walk off. It didn’t happen, we waited and as the boat started to go I slid down the side with others (sorry to the person I pushed, if you are reading) and swam to the tug boats. I emember U2 wer in concert on the TV on the boat I was on, anyone else remember that ?
Well it is 21 years and a few days and this is probably my first ever public outporing of bits.
I wish you all well out there and hope for those with real issues stuill that you can eventually pick your way through problems and lifes road blocks with more positive feelings.
Cheers
Paul
Hi, I want to talk about this but don’t know how and don’t know who with. I think maybe I need to talk to someone professional (finally!), but don’t know really how to go about it or where to start looking for the right person. Can anyone give me any advice? x
Sorry T, I’ve not been very good with replying to my comments lately. As Paul says I would go and see your doctor or speak to a very good friend as they might be able to help you with talking about it. Good luck.
Try seeing a doctor and just be open they will be able to refer you to a trained counsellor who could help.
T
the advice you have from Michelle and Paul is the best. Also you may take some time to write down all you can remember about the accident and share your experience with other victims or close friends/Family. You must talk this out with appropriate people. I still think a good starting point for you is a read of Jupiter’s Children, although some of the writers may still have bad thoughts to this day I would think others managed to unload many gremlins from that time
I wish you well,in coming to terms with this problem.
As i mentioned before, if your Doctor could refer you to a counsellor that specialises in PTSD, as my friend does, then that would really help. If you want to give me some details of the area you live in, i could ask if he knows or could recommend someone in your area. Best wishes.
I was also from T P Riley like some many of the other comments you have received and on this trip, I have tried on so many occasions to write about this and I haven’t been able too. Thank you for sharing your experiance, it is almost identical to mine.
Mr Butt was an amazing teacher, I can say I owe that man my life and for many many years I have felt guilt that I survived and he didn’t, I remember seeing him helping other people as I was swimming off the liner.
I’m exactly like you now, I can go on smaller boats as long as I can see outside or travel outside, I also work out escape route as soon as I get on them.
Thank you for sharing your story, it’s moved me to tears.
Hi Tracey – thank you for leaving a comment and I hope all is OK with you now. I’m still surprised on how many survivors read and leave comments on here – it’s nice to know that most of us feel the same about this experience. Thanks.
Hi everyone
I was there too an not a day goes by when i don’t struggle with it. Things were very different all those years ago with therapy and what was available to us. I have had episodes that have been troublesome, but that said however hard it is you just have to try. I recently spoke to Prof Yule at the Maudsley and all those that went there after the accident have transformed the way in which PTSD treatment is now administered. IF ANYONE IS STRUGGLING I HAVE THE NAME the proffessor who now runs the unit. I also understand that it may be possible to be referred back there.
Best wishes to everyone x