A day of mixed fortunes

It wasn’t a bad day or a good day – an okay day. Which is good in my eyes. Actually all this week I have felt okay, maybe tired but no odd spells. I managed to get some Christmas shopping done today but the real highlight of the day was getting tickets to see Vampire Weekend next February. I really thought I wouldn’t get any tickets but luck was on my side this morning. Also, I got the biker boots from Dune that I have had my eye on for a few weeks now and in a size 3. For one, the size 3 is quite rare and I’m pleased with myself that I waited until I got paid to buy them and not use my credit card.

Just being tired and going to the pub where all the dodgy people were put a bit of a damper on the day but I’m being positive as this has been a good week. I’m hoping that the weekend will be stress free and I get to do things that I enjoy. Ooh, I might get to see some fireworks as well, lets hope the rain stops soon.

What I did at the weekend

No horror story here, just a lot of creative printing on to fabrics. I won’t bored everyone with the full details (here are the details for the course) but it was an interesting and inspiring workshop. Two things that I didn’t really enjoy – travelling back in to London on a Saturday and Sunday for two weekends and my own self-doubt over my art skills. I learnt about two types of dyes – reactive and pigment dyes and the process for mixing them, painting with them and block/screen printing. The hardest part was trying to think what to do with the dyes – and then spending most of my time looking at everyone else’s and thinking “wish I had thought of that”. Also, I had problems with transferring my ideas on to paper/fabric. The tutor (Charlotte Hardy, an artist herself) actually did say that a course that she is holding later on this month helps with this by exploring different design techniques on paper for designing textiles. Maybe next year I will do that course.

Here are some photos of my printed fabrics – the green leaf one I might make in to a cushion and hopefully I will buy some dyes to keep trying trying out my ideas.

What do you want?

I’ve been pondering this question for ages now – what do I want… to do with my life/work/home. I still can’t figure it all out and half of me thinks that I shouldn’t want as I can’t get everything I want. I wonder if saying “I would like” is a cop out though – it means if you don’t get it or fail at something then it don’t matter but if you want something (and tell people) and it doesn’t happen, then it will matter. Will people look at me different or stop being my friend? Will I let other people down? This article is from one the blogs that I read – it’s a great read about being scared for what you want.

I keep thinking I would like to do something more creative with my time and maybe working one day less at my present company (if they let me that is) so I could explore the ideas that I have. I’m scared that I won’t do anything on that day off, or that I won’t enjoy my time off, get lonely, run out of money and have to go back full time with my tail between my legs. Most friends that I know who go part-time do because of having kids (and for the record I’m not going down that route just to work part-time). Knowing me I will still be pondering this question next year/ten years but sometimes it’s good to write these thoughts down.

Did you miss me?

I doubt it with the million other bloggers out there but enough of this self-doubt. I didn’t really miss writing my blog which is a bit strange as it is has been part of my life for the past 18 months. On the train journey on the way home from London today I decided that I will continue to write my blog but without the guilt that I have to write everyday. With history class, teaching myself to sew with using my sewing machine, a new role at work to get my head around, and general life, I need to give myself some time off from writing everyday.

I had a nice week off and boy, didn’t it go by quickly. Last weekend and this weekend I did a workshop for textiles printing, which was fun and made me realise how exciting screen printing is (I will write more about that soon) but I still had moments of self-doubt, nervousness and either panic attacks or low blood sugar (I can’t decide on that on yet). I think that half my problem with learning new things is self-doubt – I don’t believe I’m good enough or the teacher is lying about things that I do are good etc etc. This sort of feeling just makes the whole occasion tiring and I’m sure I don’t enjoy the learning as much as I should. Tomorrow is another day and back to work I go – I’m half looking forward to it (catching up with friends mainly). Going back in to the office I’m not looking forward to and dealing with work, also means another trip in to London… boo, hiss!

Taking a break

A break from blogging that is… not from life or work, though I am on holiday so it is a mini break from work and I’m sure everyone would like a break from life now and again as I do. The only problem with being away from work but not actually on holiday means I’m doing all those household chores especially since my husband is still at work this week so I get to cook dinner as well. Still, I did manage to make cookie dough and once I can find the right Halloween cookie cutters then I will bake them tomorrow. I doubt if I will write much over the next few days – I’m going out to the depths of the Essex countryside tomorrow evening so for starters there won’t be any wifi to use and I need to rethink why I’m writing this blog. Lately I just can’t get in to it as I used to so a break could be good for me and the blog.

Weekend workshop

This weekend I have been on the first part of a ‘Colour onto cloth’ course at the City Lit, which is based in London. Actually it is really near where I work so I’ve felt like I haven’t left the office all weekend – one of the downsides of this course.  As part of my usual lack of self-confidence and nervousness I was really anxious about going on Saturday morning – I wish I could stop thinking like this as it is something I wanted to enjoy. Anyway, I did enjoy the two days – felt knackered at the end of each day but in a good way. The first day was mainly learning about the fabric dyes, how they work and how to use them. It was a bit of an experimental day with lots of playing around – which in turn means I don’t have any pieces of work that I like.

Today, was more focused on screen printing on to natural fabrics using reactive dyes. Using the screen printing techniques for more delicate work. It was fun using the screens and brought back memories from college. The only problem I have it that I didn’t have any real ideas on what I wanted to do and the odd idea that I did have didn’t seem to work on the fabrics. Also, I spent most of the time looking at everyone elses work and wishing I had thought of that or could paint like that. It’s all about self-confidence again – I know I can do this and I know I can design something good. This week I’m going to create some designs for next weekend so I can have a series of textiles printed that I actually like.

Priscilla

Over the past few years I have been to the theatre to watch a variety of musicals. I have seen these with my girl friends or with my mum and her friends. And what a difference there is with going out with these two groups. I love my friends but everything is much more sedate with them. No meeting beforehand for a few drinks and hardly any drinks at the interval except me of course (and my best friend sometimes). Now my mum’s friends are a lot different – drinks all round! On Thursday afternoon I went to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert at the Cambridge Theatre with them.

Firstly, I meet them in the pub where they had had lunch with a bottle of wine. I had time for cheesecake and half pint shandy – I was thirsty and daytime drinking is tough for me. As soon as we got into the theatre one of my mum’s friends ordered drinks for the interval. Another bottle of wine, a G&T and a bottle of beer for me. They are a real good laugh and the show was fantastic, the best musical I have ever seen. Great costumes, excellent singing and Jason Donovan as the one of the lead rolls, made for a fabulous afternoon away from work. I would recommend anyone in the UK to go and see it, I’m hoping to go again with my friends and hopefully get them to have a few ‘Priscilla’ cocktails at the interval.

Happy Friday!

Another two liner today: another night out, this time with my best friend and tomorrow I’m back travelling in to town so that’s my excuse for not writing much again. I’ve got next week off so I’m considering taking the week off blogging as well but I’ll see how I go – maybe I will get bored and have the urge to write. Happy Friday all!

No blog Thursday

I’m afraid that Thursday might became a no blog day as my history class is taking up my time and brain power. Still I’ve noticed that when I don’t write anything I get tons of readers so maybe it won’t matter. At least tomorrow is Happy Friday!

A week off

Rather oddly I keep forgetting that I’ve got next week off work. Maybe it’s because I’m not actually going away on holiday. Or maybe it’s because I don’t actually have that urgency in me that I need a holiday. Still, it is exciting to think that I’ve got the week off work – no travelling in to London during the rush hour or getting up early. I think I’m planning a few days at the seaside in a caravan with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law (and the kids) – that should be fun and cold. It can get chilly in those metal cans so I might need to take my thermals with me. Apart from that I have my history course on Thursday evening and for the next two weekends I have a fabric printing workshop.

So, I have a few plans but I’m not making promises to myself that I will get them done. History homework, some more playing around with the sewing machine, making time for cooking, reading, piano practice, sleeping, running, eating and drinking. Well, I think I will be eating and drinking as it is a holiday but more of the naughty stuff. I’ve also got tomorrow afternoon off as well to see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert at the theatre – will I ever get any work done before the end of the week. Oh well, fun times ahead hopefully!